Common Myths About Why People “Can’t” Have ADHD

Many people have a narrow, one-size-fits-all view of ADHD, often imagining a child who is hyperactive, impulsive, and forgetful. The reality is ADHD looks different for everyone. Some individuals may be quiet, with their inattention and internal struggles hidden from others. Many are skilled at masking their symptoms, which can result in a missed diagnosis. This often leads to lifelong challenges with underachievement, heightened stress, and increased anxiety.

Early diagnosis and effective treatment can improve quality of life. Next week - the KC Metro CHADD chapter - is offering a free online talk about diagnosis of ADHD and autism, so if you want to learn more about diagnosing ADHD, I encourage you to check it out! Their talks are free and open to the public! I lead the teen group, so if a teen in your life wants to join me, they’re welcome to learn about all the ways we lose productivity from energy drains - and what to do about it!

This month is ADHD Awareness Month, so let’s look at some common myths of why people “can’t” have ADHD:

• “You can focus when you want to, so you can’t have ADHD.”This myth ignores the reality that people with ADHD often hyperfocus on things they find interesting or stimulating. Masking can make it seem like they have control over their focus, but this only happens in specific situations, not consistently.

• “You’re too organized to have ADHD.”Many people with ADHD develop compensatory strategies to stay organized, often out of necessity to manage their symptoms. This masking behavior can give the impression that they don’t struggle, but the effort required is typically exhausting and not always sustainable.

• “You get good grades; you can’t have ADHD.”High academic achievement is sometimes used as proof that someone doesn’t have ADHD, but many people compensate by working extra hard, pulling all-nighters, or relying on external support to maintain performance. Masking their struggles with success doesn’t mean ADHD isn’t present.

• “You’re not hyperactive, so you can’t have ADHD.”The stereotype that ADHD is all about being hyperactive ignores the fact that it presents in different ways. People, especially girls and women, often mask symptoms like inattention or internal restlessness, making their struggles less visible. ADHD has hyperactivity in the name, but not everyone is hyperactive. As hyperactive children get older, they can learn socially acceptable ways of getting energy out, like tapping their foot or playing with their pen, so seem less hyperactive to others.

• “You seem calm and in control, so you can’t have ADHD.”Masking can make someone appear calm and collected when, in reality, they may be experiencing significant internal chaos or stress. Many people with ADHD develop coping mechanisms to appear composed in public, only to struggle behind the scenes.

• “You have friends and get along with people, so you don’t have ADHD.”While ADHD can cause social challenges, some people develop strong social skills to compensate. Their ability to mask difficulties like impulsivity or inattentiveness in social situations doesn’t mean they don’t face struggles in other areas.

• “You’re too successful to have ADHD.”Success in a career or life is often seen as incompatible with ADHD. However, many successful people with ADHD have learned to mask their struggles or use their ADHD traits, like creativity or out-of-the-box thinking, to their advantage. Success doesn’t negate the challenges ADHD brings.

These myths can delay diagnosis and proper support for people with ADHD, especially those who mask their symptoms well, making it crucial to recognize that masking doesn’t mean the absence of ADHD.

Want to learn more about diagnosing ADHD? Hit the button below for the event October 8th!